Being in Continuum field is like being at home 

Since my very childhood I have had a lot of snakes around me. During the night I saw them in my bed and creeping through the corridors of our house. My parents didn’t have any understanding for my vision and fear and quite soon in my youth I was led to perceive it as some kind of curse. Priests and believers prayed for me, trying to cast out demons from my body. Later I added many years of psychotherapy sessions. Nothing helped. Then, in the age of 35, quite exhausted of this topic, I found holotropic breathwork and for the first time in my life I realized that maybe it is not the demons, but some beings, or rather some consciousness that is connected to all human beings. That time I met Sylvain Meret.

 

During my first dive with Continuum, simply sounding „I“ and opening the sides of my body, my face started to change into the scales that beautifully fit together. It took some time but in a certain moment I realized that my face was changing into the face of a snake. It was simultaneously terrifying and elevating. I felt full of life. Not anymore overwhelmed by meeting such a crucial topic for me so closely. 

 

This experience led me to the decision of entering the private guidance of Sylvain Meret (2020). I had had about 15 years of work experience as a dance movement therapist and expert in non-verbal communication. Despite the many years of practise of a dance therapy, body work, experience with tantra and Qigong, I felt that I wasn’t embodied enough. I realized, that a lot of my somatic experience is about searching for the good feeling in my body through the work with the shape of the body, expressive movement and targeted movements that change body chemistry. Continuum was opening the gates for me to deep embodiment on a cellular level.

 

Sylvain and I met online once every 2 weeks, I attended playground classes, and I was so excited about this practice that I paid daily attention to it. At that time, I spontaneously got up every morning at around 3:20 a.m. and until 7 a.m. I watched the sky and softly sounded into the tissues. I was a very pragmatic person and I didn't understand a lot at first, but I felt a great pull, some kind of attraction to devote a lot of time to the Continuum practice. I observed that my relationship with the Earth was changing, I began to see the sky as a companion and I began to discover myself as a mystery that unfolds in front of me at its own pace and time, independent of my will, effort, or mental attitude. Things rather started happening for me than I was doing them.

 

After a year of working with gravity and grounding (2021), we opened the topic of elements in the body and I was getting to know not only my water, but also my fire. I really wanted to feel the pleasure in my body that I felt while making love with a lover who left me, and I was very sad and worried at that time. I missed that sense of connection and joy and it was my biggest motivation at the time. I sounded into my body every free moment. I looked for movement inspiration in the way small children walk on Earth: with their joy and sense of novelty. I used to go jogging every day, moving as a child, sounding into my body and invoking the Eros of the Earth so that I could feel it as children feel it. At some point, I began to perceive something flowing through my legs, which I felt was plasma, a fire rising from the Earth, which did not burn, but nourished. I would wake up in the morning with pulsating feet. And during the day, whether I had them on the floor or spread out on the table, pleasure was entering my feet, large doses of energy, a feeling of nourishment, acceptance and pleasure. For the first time in my life, I felt my feet alive, in constant pulsation, as if I had been making love to the most amazing lover for everlasting days. The fascinating thing was that I didn't have to do anything for it. It was happening on its own and it kept happening all the time.

 

Another year (2022) of discovering how my fire works and what principles my essence carries followed. Through deep, long-lasting frustration, I recognized how my anger separates me from people, destroys me internally, and if I deny it, it turns against me. A challenging period in which, within mentoring, we created a space for the process of dying, decaying, disappearing. It was during this period that I decided to leave the Church and thereby broke the family tradition in which whole generations before me lived and by which I was rejected by my family. My fire awakened the topic of self-sacrifice, and as part of my work, I organized the online conference Self-Sacrifice: Cultural Madness, which was attended by 7 thousand women, 24 speakers, with whom I conducted interviews, accepted the invitation, and the conference included blocks of somatic practice that were supposed to help women to feel their heart, legs, womb, their sovereignty, but also tenderness, kindness and femininity more.

 

This process completed in a 7-day Uroboros workshop, for which I had been preparing for a whole year, and I really went there with the desire to die and be reborn. After a few months, I noticed that I was feeling well, that my nervous system was calm and harmonized and that the frustrations that had troubled me before seemed to disappear. I felt that I was ready to enter the process that I had been preparing for ten years: getting a divorce and leaving a marriage in which I haven’t been satisfied for a long time. 

 

Last year (2023) I experienced a lot of shape-shifting that deeply nourished me and expanded my state of consciousness. One of the most powerful moments was when I was accepted by the burdock community, standing among them, becoming one of them, feeling the water entering my feet, the sun nourishing my leaves, the breeze pleasing my fascia and the entire ecosystem of trees around. Being the snake I once feared and feel the pleasure in every cell of my body as the rays of light fall upon it. Becoming a huge heart and feeling its power, being a nervous system in its light and in perfect grids, lying like a drop of water on the wave of life, sensing stone as liquid and many other experiences made me want to become a teacher and carry this work forward.

 

My vision is to help my clients to open the body-gate for Eros. Sensuality. Re-Connection with the Earth. Healing the sexuality and cultural anatomy of body bliss and delight. Continuum gives me a unique frame for free exploration. It helps me to create the space for calming down the nervous system, spread the space for self-regulation and finding the true nature of themselves, far beyond the social and cultural standards. I think those are my strong points. I understand them somatically, I feel their field and I see that I can also convey them to the women I work with.

 

What I perceive as needing my attention is the humility of my mind. The biggest challenge is a clear mind and the ability to see past my own cultural anatomy that I live in like a fish in water. That's why I regularly go on silent retreats, spend time in the dark, and slow down, slow down, slow down in my everyday life. I do less to be more. The challenge is also the cosmic dimension and the somatic perception of the connection with the gravitational field of the galaxy, the center of the universe, and the integration of these experiences into everyday life.

 

It is an honour for me to be a part of this creative and supportive field through my daily practice, sharing and feeling the sense of belonging. 

 

Deep return to ownself 

5 days retreat with Continuum, Sounds and Water

More photos from the retreat